Another woman....
Alright...that is being a little melodramatic. But, I'm still having funny feelings about it.
My ex is in his first serious relationship since we separated about 6 years ago. I have NO PROBLEM whatsoever with that in itself. I think it is great. What is causing my "odd" feelings is the role this new person will be playing in the lives of my children.
Usually, on his days, their dad comes to pick up my kids not long after they get off the bus. The past few times he has brought her with him. No big deal. She's much younger than him, probably by 10 years, but she seems very nice. My kids have asked me several times if I like her. I have told them I really don't know her well enough to say and all that is important to me is that she is good to them.
The other day she showed up by herself to pick them up. She stopped by our house to make sure they weren't already off the bus. I told her she was about 2 minutes early & they should be along any minute. She then drove down the street to pick them up at the bus stop so I wasn't able to see them at all.
Now, I know this isn't a big deal and I'm sure it wasn't a grand conspiracy to keep me from seeing my kids. But, all the same, I didn't like it. It felt so strange to see my kids climbing into some woman's car that I hardly know.
I'm also a little anxious about how this will affect our lives. Things have rolled along more or less smoothly for 6 years. Will anything change now? I know from personal experience that when a woman enters a man's live things do tend to change. She will want to have input on things with my children. And I guess it is just going to take a little time to get used to that.
I will admit, I am doing MUCH better than my husband's exwife did when I entered the picture. She wasn't used to sharing ANY PART of their kids with someone else. She was really quite horrible for a while. But, I guess as with most things in life she adapted.
ON to a happier subject.....HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!
Anybody get any goodies? My hubby is paying for me to get prescription sunglasses (not very romantic but something I really want), got me candy, a new cell phone, and a Nicholas Sparks book on CD for us to listen to on our next trip. He's a very macho guy, so for him to buy me emotional and sentimental books that he will listen to with me is a very sweet thing.
We must adjust to changing times and still hold to unchanging principles-President Jimmy Carter.
posted by Andrea at 10:07 AM
2 Comments:
I think the fact that she is talking to you is a plus. She will probably need your advice during the times the kids are with her, especially if she doesn't have any of her own.
This must be the oddest feeling, but I would just keep your opinion open and listen to what the kids say about her. If they like her and she is good to them and with them, you can consider yourself lucky.
I don't think you have to BE friends but raising them the same way will help. I have no doubt that you will hand things professionally...it is just who you are.
I can identify with the odd feelings. They are YOUR kids and seeing someone else playing "mommy" to them kicks in the maternal instinct.
One of two things is going to happen.....she will become a permanent part of his life--thereby becomeing stepmom to your boys. Or she will be like the many other's he's dated and will drop off the radar before long.
Either way, You will handle it well.
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