Stress Level Rising

I should have known after having such a relaxing weekend that my week would have a rough start. After all, what goes up, must come down.

At one point yesterday, I was so stressed that I had to just go sit down in our room and take deep breaths for a few minutes. I could feel my temper flaring and my irritation was at an all time peak.

It wasn't just one particular incident. I had an appointment with my son's teacher yesterday morning. He's having difficulty focusing and staying on task. He is in 3rd grade and I have heard this from every teacher about this time of year. I suppose he starts to get bored or something. His brother is ADHD, so it is possible he has a component of ADD. I don't know. I made an appt with the Peditrician and we will talk to her about it.

Then, I left the school to go to work to pick up my check. It wasn't there. I needed to call the payroll person and her number is on my computer at work. However, there was a man from the church sitting at my desk, talking on my phone, and holding up the whole works. I had to wait about 20 minutes for him to finally decide to get off the phone so I could get to the computer. This was about 11:15. The payroll lady said she was dropping by the church around 12:30 to drop off my check. Ok, fine. I decided to work until she arrived, even though it was my day off. Without my check I couldn't do any of the errands I had planned to anyhow.

So, I finally got my check, went to the bank, and ran some errands. No big deal.

I picked up my stepkids at school. Chelsea had a prescription she was supposed to start over the weekend. Her mom dropped it off at the pharmacy on Friday, but of course didn't pick it back up. FINE. We stopped, waited in line for 15 minutes and found out that the insurance they had on file had expired. Of course it had. We haven't had anything filled at that pharmacy in 3 years. I have no idea why her mom took it there. So, I gave them our insurance, waited another 10 minutes. Great. That medication was a non-preferred med for our pharmacy plan...so basically they wouldn't pay for any of it. So, I left the medicine there and called the mom to ask her to go by the pharmacy and give them her insurance info.....which she should have done in the first place. Our kids our covered under 3 different insurance plans and each one has things that are better and worse than the other. We use hers for prescriptions.

So, we get home and I checked the email. I had a message from one of Chelsea's teachers:

Chelsea has a 92 (B) right now but she is missing a very important assignment, her literature packet. We worked on it for a month and I still have not gotten it. I omitted the grade for her progress report because it was worth so much. Without the packet her grade as of right now would plummet to a 74. She can still turn it in for a late grade. Her attitude and behavior have been excellent. I have definitely noticed a change. Something must be working!

What? This packet was due in JANUARY and this is the first we heard of her not turning it in...from the teacher or Chelsea.

Then, my boys got home. One forgot his homework. The other was being hyper. Then I realized that my son had baseball practice and all of his gear was at his dad's house....who happened to have left to go out of town for the week yesterday morning. ARRRRRGGGGHHHH!

When my beloved husband got home, he lost his mind with Chelsea. It wasn't so much the fact that she lost her packet of work, it was the fact that she didn't do anything to try to rectify the situation. She didn't go to her teacher to see if she could do it again. She didn't come to us or her mother to ask for help. As she said, "I figured there wasn't anything I could do about it, so why worry about it." After everything else that had been going on with her, this was not a good move on her part.

Oh yeah, and our new Boxer opened the gate to the backyard. She didn't run away, but our two other dogs did. So, Tim and I spent nearly an hour roaming the neighborhood calling them. Finally, a neighbor a couple of streets over called and said they were in her yard.

SO, by the time everything calmed down, it was time for Bryce's practice and no one had dinner. I decided it was 7:00 on a school night in FEBRUARY and that he could just miss practice. I ordered a pizza and was done with it.

I think I need another vacation. :oD

Something to ponder:

Faith sees the invisable, believes the unbelievable, and receives the impossible--Corrie Ten Boom

Our mountain getaway

We had a wonderful weekend getaway. We stayed in Sparta, NC which is only a little over an hour away from our home…but yet it feels like a whole different world. Friday night we sat out on the porch of the house for a little while, marveling at the sound of….no sound. No traffic. No horns. No kids. All you could hear was the occasional cow mooing and dog barking in the distance.

And the stars! Oh my! The sky was so clear and the star so bright it was hard to believe it was the same night sky that we look at from our own backyard. It was an amazing sight. It was very humbling to look upon the sky and know that God created every single star for a purpose…and then to contemplate the same for myself. I have a purpose here on this earth, every single day that I live. It encouraged me to seek His will for my life in a new and more driven fashion.

Saturday we took a long drive on the Blue Ridge Parkway. We stopped to hike for a while, and boy was that frustrating. My fat little round self had a very difficult time going up the inclines. If that wasn’t motivation for me to get into better shape, I don’t know what is.

The views were still outstanding…out of breath or not. As you will saw in the picture above, there is a reason they call them, “The Blue Ridge Mountains.” Being an early morning in February, we didn’t see another soul the whole time we were up there.

Saturday night we just hung out at the house…watching movies curled up in front of the fire. It was as near perfect of a weekend as it gets.

The best part is my husband and I were able to spend a good deal of time talking about our spiritual lives. We had several long discussions on what we wanted spiritually in our lives, our marriage, in a church, and for our children. It was a very enlightening and emotional time for us both and I have no doubt that we understand each other better now than ever.

We ended up coming home very late Saturday night, instead of Sunday morning. No matter how silly I knew it was, I missed our dogs and our bed. I loved the little house we were staying in, but wanted my own house. So around midnight, we packed everything up and headed home. Which was nice. There wasn’t much traffic and we had a lot of fun on the drive. We both felt like we were being devious…like teenagers sneaking out in the middle of the night.


It was a wonderful, much needed weekend free of stress and worry. Next time, we will have to take the kids with us for a whole different experience.

Getting the heck outta Dodge

Well, our plans for another beach trip fell thru, but Hubby and I are getting ready to head to the mountains for a couple of nights. There is a darling little house right off the Blue Ridge Parkway that we've rented several times in the past that just happened to be available on short notice this weekend.

There isn't a whole lot do to up there expect enjoy the gorgeous views, take long drives, kick back, and R E L A X. Oh, yes, and of course listen to our book on CD.

As of next weekend, we will have baseball games & practices every weekend through the end of June, so I intend to enjoy every quiet minute of this weekend.

I hopw you have a wonderful weekend.

This time I didn't cry

The way I tend to usually hand stressful or painful situations is to put on a brave face and appear to be handling things wonderfully….then breaking down into tears at the first private moment I have.

Take for instance the time my husband and I went white water rafting about 2 years ago. It was something I had always wanted to do and that he has a lot of experience in. We rented a ducky, which amounts to an inflatable canoe that just the 2 of us took down the river.

Before we started, an instructor gave us directions on how to negotiate the rapids and what to do if you overturned at any point of the journey.

It started very peacefully. The views were beautiful, the splashes from the river were cold and refreshing, and I was very relaxed. Even our first few Class II rapids we got through with no difficulty. We were having a VERY nice time together.

At the end of the route is a Class III rapid. Being a roller coaster fanatic, I was really looking forward to experiencing a little more intense of a rapid. I was very nervous, too. Mother Nature is MUCH more unpredictable than any manmade coaster.

As we approached the rapid we saw a group of Asians on large rafts blocking ½ of the river. Apparently, one of their rafts had become ensnared in some brush along the riverbank and as their companions came along they all grabbed hold of one another to try to help out their friends. There were about four 8 person rafts right in front of us.

By my husband’s choice of words, I knew this wasn’t a good thing. We gently bumped into them and he tried to guide us around their rafts. Then, in an effort to help, one of the guys stuck in their raft gave us a little push. And that is when we caught in the wild water and flipped end over end right at the top of the rapids.

I went over my first Class III rapids out of the boat. I tried to remember everything the guide told us. Turn backwards. Keep your feet up to avoid them being wedged between rocks. The water was so cold that I barely felt my body being banged against rocks over and over.

Once we were over the biggest part of the rapid, my husband grabbed a hold of me. All I could think was hold on tight. And he never let go, despite the fact that apparently I kept causing him to go under.

Finally, after what seemed like years, he pulled me ashore. Several people applauded and complimented him on the excellent job he did of helping me. I was very quiet, chilled to the bone, and just ready to climb onto the bus for our ride back to the rafting center.

As soon as we sat on the bus, I snuggled up beside my husband and started bawling. He was alarmed at first. “What hurts?” he asked. All I could do was shake my head. And to this day, my best explanation is that in the heat of the moment, I kept my wits together. But the moment I knew we were safe and sound, all that adrenaline just released in a dam of tears.

I’ve found in life I am that way about any circumstances that cause physical or emotional pain as well. I just don’t think about them ahead of time. After all, if there is nothing that can be done to avoid it, then why waste time worrying about it. Things like being in labor, my divorce, surgery, and funerals. The pain is going to be there, so I just deal with it when the time arises. And deal with it well in front of other people.

Yesterday, I had my third cervical biopsy in 4 years. I keep having abnormal pap smears, which leads them to do a Colposcopy and each time they do a biopsy at the same time. It hurts and is somehow violating.

The first two times I did great at the doctor’s office. I even read in my medical chart that the doctor wrote that I “tolerated the procedure remarkably well”. Good for me! However, as soon as I got in my car, I cried. And for 2 days was just moody and emotional. I think because I do not allow myself to deal with the emotions prior to the procedure I get overwhelmed after the fact. The pain, the worry of what the lab results would be, and the feeling of being out of control were unfamiliar and I didn’t handle them very well.

But, yesterday, I didn’t cry. I didn’t get upset. It hurt, yes. And hurt the rest of the day and night. Perhaps it is because the past 2 times the lab results didn’t show cancer I am not as nervous as before. Maybe I am getting better at handling these types of emotions.

At any rate, I was expecting to be out of sorts yesterday, but once I left the Dr’s office everything rolled along just like any other day.

It begins today

It is time for me to get into shape. Not only for vanity reasons of looking better, but so I will have more energy and feel better in general. Almost everyone in my family has diabetes, so in addition, being overweight almost guarantees that I will become diabetic in the very near future.

I've tried diets. They don't work for me. The fact is, I love food. When I deny myself eating my favorite things, it only lasts a week or two, then I cave and stop the whole "diet".

I got a book on Friday that I will start today. It is called, "Thin Within" and is a 30 day weight loss and exercise guide with a biblical approach. After all, gluttony IS a sin. So, by overeating (which I do ever day) and not taking care of my body, I am knowingly sinning every day. I have been blessed with a very healthy body, and by overeating I am creating health problems that otherwise wouldn't exist. That is just irresponsible and wrong.

So, say a pray for me. The change begins today.

Proverbs 23:20-21 warns us, "Do not join those who drink too much wine or gorge themselves on meat, for drunkards and gluttons become poor, and drowsiness clothes them in rags." Proverbs 28:7 declares, "He who keeps the law is a discerning son, but a companion of gluttons disgraces his father." Proverbs 23:2 proclaims, "put a knife to your throat if you are given to gluttony."

Am I 13?

I think I mentioned that I got a new Cell phone for Valentine's Day. Not really a big deal, right? I've had cell phones before. But, I am as bad as my 13 year old stepdaughter with this thing.

And it is all because of ringtones. Now, I've downloaded ringtones before and thought they were pretty cute. You know, the polyphonic ones.....Ding Ding Bing Bong Boom. Cute little sounds that resemble the songs they are supposed to be.

But, this cell phone can download ringtones that are the actual song. Now when my phone rings I hear Bon Jovi's, "Welcome to WhereEver You Are" Or "Wanted Dead or Alive." I have a really cute little ring that says, "Hey. This is Jon Bon Jovi. See how easy it is to pick me up? I'm in your pocket!"

I have 2 songs by Casting Crowns ( a contemporary Christian Band): "If We are the Body" and "I'll Praise You in This Storm"

And for game day I even have the actual marching band playing the Wake Forest Fight Song.

I just think it is so cool! My stepdaughter has as much fun with my new phone as I do. Of course, her cell phone only does those BORING polyphonic ring tones. :-)

Yes, yes, I know. I probably need to get a life.

I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend!! Spring is just around the corner.

Silly Somethings...

I'll admit that I adore white chocolate. Something about the richness & smoothness just captivates me.

For Christmas Tim got me a cappuchino maker, which I love. Last night he gave me some white chocolate sauce to use in my mochas. Wow....it is good! I have looked every where for it and he finally found some at World Market.

But, the best thing is he also found O'Reilly's White Chocolate Irish Cream. Oh my word! This stuff is sinful...it has to be. It is so good that after a sip I just have to sit there with my eyes closed for a minute. Hubby laughed saying he wished he could still have that affect on me. LOL

You have got to try this stuff! Obviously, it must be drank in moderation because I cannot even imagine how many calories & carbs and in the stuff. But, a small indulgence from time to time is worth it!

Also, I have an even sillier story....

Last year for Valentine's Day, one of my gifts was a Nicholas Sparks book on CD. If you aren't familar with him, he wrote books that became movies such as A Message in a Bottle, A Walk to Remember, and most famously, The Notebook. He is from the NC coast and I just LOVE his books. They are all sappy, usually sad, but always about inspiring love.

So, it was was a surprise Tim bought it on CD because that meant macho man had to listen to it, too.

We went to the beach the weekend after Valentine's and listened to the book all the way down & back home. We BOTH loved it. The book is called, "True Believer" and it is excellent.

So, one of my gifts this year was the sequel, "At First Sight" on CD. We are now seriously considering making a quick trip to the beach next weekend, mainly just so we can listen to the book again. Rates this time of year are really cheap ($35-$60 a night for ocean front). And let's face, we adore fresh seafood.

It just seems really silly to drive several hundred miles in 2 days, mainly to listen to an audio book.

But a little romantic, too, don't you think?

Another woman....

Alright...that is being a little melodramatic. But, I'm still having funny feelings about it.

My ex is in his first serious relationship since we separated about 6 years ago. I have NO PROBLEM whatsoever with that in itself. I think it is great. What is causing my "odd" feelings is the role this new person will be playing in the lives of my children.

Usually, on his days, their dad comes to pick up my kids not long after they get off the bus. The past few times he has brought her with him. No big deal. She's much younger than him, probably by 10 years, but she seems very nice. My kids have asked me several times if I like her. I have told them I really don't know her well enough to say and all that is important to me is that she is good to them.

The other day she showed up by herself to pick them up. She stopped by our house to make sure they weren't already off the bus. I told her she was about 2 minutes early & they should be along any minute. She then drove down the street to pick them up at the bus stop so I wasn't able to see them at all.

Now, I know this isn't a big deal and I'm sure it wasn't a grand conspiracy to keep me from seeing my kids. But, all the same, I didn't like it. It felt so strange to see my kids climbing into some woman's car that I hardly know.

I'm also a little anxious about how this will affect our lives. Things have rolled along more or less smoothly for 6 years. Will anything change now? I know from personal experience that when a woman enters a man's live things do tend to change. She will want to have input on things with my children. And I guess it is just going to take a little time to get used to that.

I will admit, I am doing MUCH better than my husband's exwife did when I entered the picture. She wasn't used to sharing ANY PART of their kids with someone else. She was really quite horrible for a while. But, I guess as with most things in life she adapted.

ON to a happier subject.....HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!

Anybody get any goodies? My hubby is paying for me to get prescription sunglasses (not very romantic but something I really want), got me candy, a new cell phone, and a Nicholas Sparks book on CD for us to listen to on our next trip. He's a very macho guy, so for him to buy me emotional and sentimental books that he will listen to with me is a very sweet thing.

We must adjust to changing times and still hold to unchanging principles-President Jimmy Carter.

What to do with her?

As many of you already know, I have a 13 year old stepdaughter, Chelsea. She will be 14 in April. She's been really doing poorly in algebra I this year. We have been taking her to a tutor at the church where I work 2 times a week, but still she only passed by 2 points. And for this new semester, she is flunking big time. Her teacher emailed us requesting a conference, so Monday we met with the algebra teacher, plus her Science & English teachers.

We expected to hear she wasn't trying, etc etc. And we did. The teacher said she's capable of doing very well, she just doesn't seem to care about it. Then came the more surprising part. All 3 teachers agreed that Chelsea's mood, attitude, and work all depend on how things are going with boys. They said she's obsessed with boys. Matter of fact, they caught her making out with a boy in the hallway last week. AT 13! IN Middle School. And the guy is not the guy that she's been telling us is her boyfriend. She also lied to us about after school tutoring that is offered by her Algebra teacher.

So, it is hard to know how to proceed. Her dad, being an overprotective dad, lost his mind. I'll give him credit, he didn't yell at her. But, he took everything out of her room but the bed & desk. No stereo, no TV, no phone, no computer, no DVD player. He stated in no uncertain terms that he will not have a "Fluzie" for a daughter.

We have talked about enrolling her in a private Christian school. Not as a punishment, but as a new opportunity. What she has done at the point isn't that bad....what worries me is what will come when she starts high school next year. It is obvious the girl who lives with us is not the same girl that we drop off at school every day. She's done a good job of keeping us snowed. But, that won't happen again.

To make matters worse, her mom isn't very supportive. She feels like kids will be kids...there isn't much we can do about it. I believe that attitude will land you with a pregnant 15 year old daughter. She also thinks there is a conspiracy against her, because no one told her about the meeting with the teachers. Actually, when the teacher emailed me the date & time she said, "WE have set up a conference". I thought the we was the teacher and Chelsea's mom. (sigh)

Anyhow....any advice would be appreciated. Chelsea is a very bright and pretty young lady. I am terrified of the choices she will be making over the next few years.

I do know that we've been neglecting going to church. We've tried many, but haven't found one we all feel comfortable with. So, we end up not going more often than going. But, that is going to change. We are going to pick a church and get involved. I do not expect church to make everything all better, however I do think having the positive influence in all of their lives will be beneficial. It certainly can't hurt.

The beach trip

I have 2 things to write about, so I am going to do them as separate blogs. For some reason, I don't want one to taint the other.

Our trip to the beach was very nice. The weather didn't cooperate like I had hoped it would, but we had fun all the same. The kids had a blast playing in the indoor pool. We shopped, ate delicious and stupidly expensive food, walked on the beach, and had a lot of fun.

On Saturday night, Tim took the kids out for a walk on the beach and left me at the room to relax and read for a little while. I love reading for pleasure ( as opposed to my school work ) and do not often have the apparently to do it anymore. I sat out on the balcony and watched them on the beach together. Sometimes, it's hard for me to believe the life we've made together. I watched our four children chasing seagulls, laughing together and being silly, and just have this overwhelming feeling of peace. As if we were all exactly where God intended for us to be.

And let me explain the chasing of the seagulls. About a block down from our hotel at least one thousand seagulls sleep on the beach. Don't ask me why. So, for the kids, it is GREAT fun to quietly walk down the beach, then as they approach the flocks of seagulls to break into a full run and watch them all lift up in unison. It really was amazing to watch, even from the hotel balcony. They would all swarm up and fly in a huge circle, then settle back down a little further down the beach. Being an animal lover, I felt kinda bad for the poor seagulls trying to sleep, but it was really neat to watch.

On the way home, we stopped and adopted our new Boxer puppy. Her name is Lexie & she is 3 1/2 months old. We are all just crazy about her. She is such a sweetheart....even if she does pee everywhere every time she gets excited.

All in all, it was a really nice weekend. We had so much fun, I just bit the bullet and made reservations for us to rent a cabin in Gatlinburg Tennessee for vacation this summer. In the 6 years we've been together, we have yet to take a real vacation together as a family. I think it is about time we did.

Beachbound

It may be February, but we are heading to the beach this weekend anyhow. I love the coast in the off season. The temps are mild, no crowds, and the rates are awesome. We are getting an ocean front 2 bedroom efficiency for $51 a night.

As some of you may remember, hubby and I were down that way for New Years. We decided then that we wanted to come back with the kids before baseball season gets into full swing. Once practices start, we won't have another free weekend until the end of June. (sigh)

The place we are staying has an indoor pool & indoor lazy river, so the kids will have a blast with that. We are going to take them to play miniature golf, to Ripley's aquarium, and to something called Magiquest. Might catch an IMAX movie too, if time allows. And of course, my favorite thing is all the cool places to eat!!

On the way home we are going to meet a lady and adopt a Boxer puppy. Her name is Lexie. She was rescued from a negligent breeder at 3 weeks of age. She was very underweight, but has made an awesome comeback. She is now 16 weeks & about to be our newest "baby". Honestly, I am worried about the two little dogs we already have. They are small & used to being the center of attention. ( they are SPOILED ROTTEN). But, with Lexie being a puppy, I am hoping they will all just learn to be buddies.

Well, I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend. I'll tell you all about our trip when we get back!