Household Chores

Just out of curiosity, why is that a mom is rarely thanked for all they do? However, when a husband or child actually does something, they expected to be praised for hours on end?

On a daily basis, I do the normal mom stuff. Run kids all around, work a few hours, do my own homework, do laundry, dishes, fix breakfast, make lunches, cook dinner, clean dishes again, sweep, pick up kids, help with homework, etc etc.

Yesterday my beloved husband cleaned the kitchen. I noticed, I said thanks, then hours later he had to point out again what all he did in the kitchen. I was polite (don't want to discourage him) but I'm thinking....what do you want? a parade?
applause? No one ever thanks me for the things I am constantly doing.

OK...just had to get that off of my chest.

"Beware of reasoning about God's Word--obey it" Oswald Chamber

A new habit.

Not all habits are bad. My husband and I have every other weekend alone. It is our time to reconnect, to rest, and to destress from the very busy lives we lead.

The past 4 Fridays that we've been alone we've fallen into a pattern that I am very happy with. First we go to dinner at our favorite wings place. 2 times we went with friends, 2 times we went alone. But, we stay a couple of hours, play Buzztime trivia, and have a good dinner. Neither of us are creative enough to come up with somewhere we'd rather go.

When we get back home, I turn on Windows Media play onto shuffle....we have over 400 songs on it. We talk, we laugh, and every time a slow song comes on, we dance.

At first I was annoyed. We don't' ever dance. Neither of us dance well, that is for sure. And besides, it was interrupting my game on GSN. But, then I realized it was just us.....just a man and his wife who are still very in love with each other after all these years.

So we dance. I have now found myself looking forward to those random love songs.....especially the two that we danced to after our wedding. "Amazed" by Lone Star and "Maybe I'm Amazed" by Paul McCartney.

The funny thing about those songs is that neither of us knew which song the other picked for our reception. Yet, we both picked a song with Amazed in the title. I guess that sums up love. When it is real, and it is true, it is nothing short of Amazing, isn't it?

Time to vent

I will start off my saying this blog will probably ramble. I'm more than a little frustrated, so I don't know how clear I will be. But, at least I can get it off my chest.

OK...where to start. I guess I will start with the first thing that ticked me off yesterday. Let's call my husband's exwife "L" to make things easier. For 2 years L said she was going to make an appointment for my stepdaughter (Chelsea) to see an orthodontist. Finally, I got tired of waiting (she is 13 now & needed braces badly) so I made an appointment for her. I took her to the evaluation, to the review, and to the subsequent 4 dentist appointments to get teeth pulled prior to getting her braces. I signed a contract agreeing to pay $1250.00 down and then $100.00 month thereafter for her braces.

On the day she actually got her braces, her Mom actually decided to take her. Fine. She paid $625.00 and we paid $625.00 that day...for the total down payment of $1250.00. We agreed to each pay half of everything.

Well, a couple of days ago I got a statement from the orthodontist showing that one of the payments of $625.00 had been removed and that we now owe $735.00 (that breaks down to the 625.00, 100.00 monthly payment, and 10.00 late fee.

So, I call the orthodontist to see what it up.

Apparently, when L took Chelsea in that day, she felt left out and asked to sign a contract too. Because I had already signed on for the downpayment, they divided the remaining balance and made 2 separate accounts. Only her's didn't require a downpayment. So they took the $625.00 she paid and applied it to her 100.00 monthly payments so that WE owe the whole downpayment ourselves. What in the heck is that about? How can that possibly be fair and reasonable from the perspective of the orthodontist?

I called them yesterday, they are researching and getting back to me today. But, I'm still mad. I always take care of everything and she comes behind me and screws everything up.

And that isn't all.

The kids got report cards yesterday. Chelsea is barely passing algebra. I set it up at the beginning of the year for her to get tutoring two times a week. Apparently it isn't helping much. Not to mention that she just doesn't care. She doesn't get it, so she doesn't study or try to learn it.

So, her teacher has recommended that she stay after school with her one afternoon a week. Ok, no real big deal, right? Now, bear in mind I pick my step kids up from school EVERY DAY. I get them to their practices & tutoring every day because L likes to sleep in so she goes in to work late and doesn't get off work until 6:00 or later.

There is a slight scheduling problem because Chelea's teacher wants us to pick her up at 4:00 which is the same time my boys get off the bus. My kids are too young (8 & 7) to come home to an empty house and it is impossible for me to be in 2 plays at one time.

So, Hubby asked L if she could arrange to pick Chelsea up from tutoring that one day a week. She actually said, "If that is what needs to happen, I will MAKE it happen. I seem to be the only one to ever take care of anything....I'd hate for you and Andrea to go out of your way."

WHAT?!?!??!?!?!??!?!??!?!?!??!

I can not tell you how hard it is for me this morning to not fire off an email to L and remind her of how much I go out of my way EVERY SINGLE DAY. I spend 1 hour 45 minutes of my day picking up her kids at school. I make all their doctor, dentist, and orthodontist appointments and get them there. I help them with their homework every day. I sign them up for their sports and on week days get them to every practice and game on time. In the meantime, I have my own kids to take care of, I work, and I go to school full time.

And she's saying I don't go out of my way?!?!?!!?!?!

OK, while not less frustrated I do feel a little calmer. Let's end on a more positive note....

Romans 8:31 What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us?

My Baby Boy

My baby boy turns 7 today. Part of me still thinks of him as a preschooler. It is hard for me to accept how quickly they are all growing up.

These pictures were taken last week at Disneyworld. My parents took him down there as a very special birthday present. (yes, I admit I was jealous.)

Happy Birthday, Bryce! Mamma loves you baby!!!

Our weekend

What an unusually quiet weekend it has been at our house. Yesterday, hubby took the kids to see King Kong to let me have some quiet time to do some homework. Which, I managed to get none of done. I went to get groceries and while I was out got a migraine. But it was nice to have some peaceful time alone when I got home to try to rest.

It's been cloudy & rainy all weekend, so we've stayed indoors. We've rented a whole bunch of movies & today we are watching football. ( as is most of America). Being born & bred in North Carolina, obviously I am hoping to see the Panthers go to the Superbowl. But, truthfully, I'm a basketball fan & don't care much about football. I'm just along for the ride. Which, since my basketball team is sucking this year is a nice distraction for the time being.

My boys haven't been with us this weekend. My ex has taken a job where he is out of town most of the week. So, when the weekend comes, he wants the boys whether it is his weekend or not. I have mixed feelings about this. I'm happy he has a good job & will be making more money to take care of them. I'm glad he wants to spend time with them. But, it leaves me doing the weekday, boring details....running them to school, paying for their lunches, making arrangements for them when I have class & hubby is working late, running all around to pick them up. I love my kids...I don't mind doing all the running for them or my stepkids. But, I do miss having them on the weekends. That is our down time to enjoy each other instead of being on the go constantly.

Anyhow....I hope everyone had a good weekend!!!

9Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.

My first "love"

Ok, so you can't really call it love. I am not sure what you call it. A crush? It is certainly the longest "love" in my life.

What am I talking about? Well, it is silly really. Jon Bon Jovi. :oD My stepdaughter and I went to see Bon Jovi in concert last night. Oh, it was so awesome. It was the 4th time I've seen them in concert, but it gets better ever time.

I've been a fan since I was 13. That means, I've been crazy about them for 21 years now. Now my stepdaughter is 13. I wonder if they'll still be around when she's 34? All 4 of our kids love the band, most certainly from my influence. 80% of the time we listen to contemporary Christian Music, but I manage to slip in a Bon Jovi CD every couple of days. Matter of fact.....our car only holds 6 CD's. I have 10 Bon Jovi ones. It's sometimes hard to decide which ones to load into the player.

I don't know what it is about that band....about Jon in particular. They release a new CD every 2 years and it has been on my birthday the past 3 times. Very odd, huh?

OK, well, I just had to reflect on last night....how much fun we had. It was great to have a "step" mother/daughter night out on the town...even if we are both walking zombies today.

A new Dog!!!

We've decided to adopt another Boxer and have found 2 to choose from. And I just can't make up my mind.

the first one is Lexie. She is about 14 weeks old, learning to be housetrained. She's cute as a button. (see the picture) She has learned a few commands, but still have a long ways to go.

The second is Roscoe. (his picture is attached, too) He just turned one year old. He's had obedience classes, is crate trained, and very well behaved. He sounds like a great dog.

So, I can't decide. A puppy is always nice and would probably be best with the kids and our little dogs. But, the older one has already had all that training. A BIG plus as far as I am concerned.

Any input? Do you think one would be a better choice over the other?

Thanks for your help!!

My college

College is sure different when you are an adult student. Last night we began the spring semester. I am in an evening degree, adult education program at a small, private college in North Carolina.

I realized once again last night just how much I love going to school. I find the intelligent discussions to be stimulating & thought provoking. My fellow students (most of whom are 25+, but some are traditional age) alternately humor, scare, enchant, and annoy me. After 6 semesters, every professor I have had has been top notch in every respect.

I love the atmosphere, too. The college was founded by Quakers, which is a religion of simplicity at its core. The many buildings are all around a center square of about 5 acres of nature. Trees, flowers, brick pathways, and wildlife abound. The buildings themselves are all red brick with gentle sloping gables and white trim. They all match in a perfect harmony.

Last night as I walked across campus in the very unusually warm weather, the church bell was toiling the 7:00 hour, and I just felt like all was right with the world. God intended for me to be in this college in this particular time in my life. While being a conservative is difficult in any liberal environment the experience is helping to solidify my own beliefs and convictions.

I know this may all sound silly...I just had the need to put down in words the fondness I feel for my college.

"You must GO forward on your knees."-Hudson Taylor

Overslept

Gosh, what a horrible way to start my day....really my week. I am off on Monday's, so Tuesday is the beginning of my work week. Plus, the spring semester of school starts today, so things are swinging back into full gear. The Winter Break just wasn't long enough!

I couldn't sleep last night, so I was up playing games on the computer & watching a movie. Tim had to get up at 4:45 this morning, so of course I woke up when he did and packed his lunch & fixed his breakfast. I went back to bed & set the alarm to get up in plenty of time to get the kids up and ready. I guess I just failed to turn the alarm ON. (sigh)

So, I woke up at 8:15. The kids school starts at 8:45. So, I went in their room, where they were already awake & playing. I threw some clothes at them and told them to HURRY downstairs for breakfast. IN retrospect, I should have just fixed them a cup of cereal and had them eat in the car. I know that when I am in a hurry my children move at the speed of pond scum. It is so hard to light a fire underneath them.

We arrived at the school just in time to hear the final bell ring. I am sure they were counted as tardy, but hey, I got them there.

Sometimes I feel like there is just so much to do that things spiral out of my control. Most of the time it is my own fault.

On a different note, I have a job interview on Friday. It is for a full time position as an office manager. I really have mixed feelings. We desperately need the money. Matter of fact, I don't know how I am going to get food & gas for the rest of the week. But, at the same time, I don't want to work full time. I like being able to do things at the kid's school, to concentrate on my own school work, and to be with the kids after school.

For those of you that don't know, I work part time as a church secretary and go to college full time at night.

Regardless, I figure I will go to the interview and see what happens. Can't hurt, right?


Joshua 1
7 Be strong and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the law my servant Moses gave you; do not turn from it to the right or to the left, that you may be successful wherever you go

More about manners

On my other post, I neglected to share with those that don't know that we are a blended family. My husband and I each have 2 children from a previous marriage. We share joint custody of all the kids. They are with us for two days, then with their other parent for two days.

We know for a fact that manners are not taught in their other homes. So, they get the riot act with us for a couple of days, then get to be slobs for two days. It can't be easy for them, I know.

I came across this website today with some general suggestions & rules. I thought some of you may like to read it. (see below) I'm printing the "rules" and we are going to go over them with our kids this weekend. I am also going to ask the kids for THEIR input as to how we can help them remember to use table manners. Perhaps if they feel a part of the process, it will stick with them better.

Thanks for all the feedback!



Tell your kids that table manners are more than about proper eating, it's about being kind and considerate of others. Also, tell them although you know that they are smart and nice, other people will judge them on how they appear. Having proper table manners is one way people judge others, and they wouldn't want people to think that they're yahoo's, do they?

Whether in a restaurant or in a home, here are some basic table manners to teach kids:

1. Eat with a fork unless the food is meant to be eaten with fingers. Only babies eat with fingers.

2. Don't stuff your mouth full of food, it looks gross, and they could choke.

3. Chew with your mouth closed. No one wants to be grossed out seeing food being chewed up or hearing it being chomped on. This includes no talking with your mouth full.

4. Don't make any rude comments about any food being served. It will hurt someone's feelings.

5. Always say thank you when served something. Shows appreciation.

6. If the meal is not buffet style, then wait until everyone is served before eating. It shows consideration.

7. Eat slowly, don't gobble up the food. Someone took a long time to prepare the food, enjoy it slowly. Slowly means to wait about 5 seconds after swallowing before getting another forkful.

8. When eating rolls, break off a piece of bread before buttering. Eating a whole piece of bread looks tacky.

9. Don't reach over someone's plate for something, ask for the item to be passed to you. Shows consideration.

10. Don't pick anything out of your teeth, it's gross. If it bothers you that bad, excuse yourself and go to the restroom to pick.

11. Always use a napkin to dab your mouth, which should be on your lap when not in use. Remember, dab your mouth only. Don't wipe your face or blow your nose with a napkin, both are gross. Excuse yourself from the table and go the restroom to do those things.

12. When eating at someone's home or a guest of someone at a restaurant, always thank the host and tell them how delicious it was, even if it wasn't. Again, someone took time, energy, and expense to prepare the food, show your appreciation.

Mind your manners, please!

Ok, I need some help on this one. Is is just me or are children today almost completely without manners?

Tim & I were both brought up to be polite and always use our manners. I do not remember being taught these things, nor does my mother remember having to remind me of them. Perhaps is the Southerness in us, but manners are very important to both of us.

Now, I admit, our kids seem to do well with the polite thing. I hear them thank people, address adults as "sir" or "ma'am", and speak in a respectful tone. Most of the time, that is.

But, when it comes to table manners, they are like wild heathens. When Tim and I got married 5 years ago, we set down rules at the table. No chewing with your mouth open, don't talk with food in your mouth, and use your napkin (not your sleeve). After 5 years, the battle still rages. It is like they just don't get it.

I've tried to explain, if they demonstrate they can use table manners in public, we will be much more relaxed at home. Growing up, I knew how to behave at a friend's house & in a restaurant, but could be myself at home. But, our kids just don't do it. Not the 13 year old, not the 6 year old, and neither of the 2 in the middle. They smack the whole time they eat, talk with their mouth full, and constantly use their hand or shirt to wipe their face.

When they were younger, I expected this. I figured it was a work in progress. But, honestly, they are as bad as they were in preschool.

So, what do you do? I have a friend who literally smacks her kids in the mouth when they don't use manners. Apparently, it has worked. But, I don't want dinner to be a negative thing. I want our family gathering around the table to share a meal to be a pleasant experience for all of us. For the record, us constantly fussing at them isn't making for a nice dinner either.

Should we just make a good example and hope that at some point they will follow? Do we start imposing punishments for not minding their manners? Do we allow them to eat in front of the television and just ignore the behavior?

I know this may sound petty to some people, but manners are a big deal to us. We've seen very intelligent people turn into complete buffoons when they sit down to eat. In my opinion, having manners is a necessity.

Any suggestions?

Awesome way to welcome 2006

We had a wonderful weekend at the coast.

We left Saturday morning & arrived in Charleston mid afternoon. We checked into the hotel and then headed downtown to the river front areas to walk around. We browsed thru the market, did some window shopping, and strolled along the harbor at the Battery. Then, we headed back to the hotel where I indulged in a relaxing bubble bath before we dressed up to head back downtown. Oddly, we parked in the exact same spot we did that afternoon. We had dinner at the world famous Hyman's Seafood restaurant. Let me first say that I am not a huge seafood fan, so my husband was very disappointed that I ordered Chicken Fettechine. But, I just don't see the point in paying for something I may not like. At any rate, he had the "She" Crab Soup and a combo platter, which were both delicious. It was Lowcountry cooking at its finest.

The main square in Charleston was all decorated with Christmas lights, trees, and decorations. It was simply beautiful. We brought in the new year listening to live music, snacking on great food, and walking around sparkling white lights. It was almost like a fairy tale.

We woke up Sunday morning and decided to head to Myrtle Beach, about 90 minutes north. When we left the hotel at 10AM it was already nearly 70 degrees. It was simply a splendid day to bring in the New Year. The drive to Myrtle was nice and relaxed. When we arrived, we first went for a walk along the beach. It was so pretty out! There were even people sunbathing.

Then, we went to Broadway at the Beach....a collection of shops and restaurants around a lake. We spent a couple of hours there, browsing and taking our time. We stopped for lunch at Jimmy Buffet's Margaritaville, then walked some more. We didn't buy anything--just enjoyed strolling along in the warm weather.

We then went for another walk on the beach...just couldn't seem to get enough of it. We had dinner at our favorite ribs joint, Sticky Fingers, which was SOOO good. Then we found a little beachfront cafe where we hung out watching football for a few hours. It was a really neat little place, just perfect to sit and enjoy each other's company.

Finally, we went for one final walk on the beach before returning to the hotel. We didn't see another person the whole 45 minutes we were out there. At this point, it had gotten a little chilly, but it was so peaceful to walk along in the moonlight together.

It was simply a splendid weekend. All married couples need to take time out for trips like this. Were our problems all gone when we got back home? Nope, not even close. But, in the 2 days we were away, we were able to reconnect and reinforce the love between us. The problems are still there, but we are refreshed and able to tackle them in a new light....and most importantly TOGETHER.